you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
