Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
