Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
