Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
