last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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