Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Randomize
