I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize