think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
