Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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