I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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