sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
