And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
