i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
