Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
