you guys were way drunker than both of me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Terrible idea I love it
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
