it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
