That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
