So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
