if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
