You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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