That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
