Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
