I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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