we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
