you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
