i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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