I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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