this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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