help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Too much gin, very little bucket
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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