Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
