We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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