Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
