So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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