My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
