He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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