spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
