You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
