Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
