Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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