I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
