Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize