dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
love makes seman taste better
zippers are such a cool invention
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
