why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize