brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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