i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
