1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
