Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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