Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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