I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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