i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
