i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
