scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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