Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
