i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
