what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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