I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
