So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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