i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
