Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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