So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
