Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
