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I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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