my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
