wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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