What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
