oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
