FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
