we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
