You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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