The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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