is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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