it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
