well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
