Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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