Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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