My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Randomize